OH MY GOD THE GRUB STREET GIFT GUIDE.*

I was trying to pick out what part of this caption I should quote, and I can’t:

This Year’s Cheffiest Cookbook

The most anticipated culinary tome released this year is from L’Astrance, the tiny, highly regarded Parisian restaurant from chef Pascal Barbot. Amazon offers the book at a discounted $60 price, which, according to chef Jason Berthold from RN74 in San Francisco, is “a steal to gain a little insight into Barbot’s process and methods that any chef would love.” (The book’s English-language run is extremely limited, but if you’re okay with giving an IOU, the word is that more copies should be coming to the States early next year.) Astrance: A Cook’s Book, $95

Wait, no, I can.

“The book’s English-language run is extremely limited, but if you’re okay with giving an IOU, the word is that more copies should be coming to the States early next year.”

Which is basically like saying:

“I pretend bought you this really obscure fancy cookbook that you probably haven’t even heard of but it’s so obscure that I couldn’t even buy it. Merry Christmas.”

To which the appropriate response is:

“You are the worst.”

* OH MY GOD I DIDN’T EVEN GET TO THE $350 COFFEE ‘AROMA’ KIT THAT COMES WITH A BOOKLET WITH BEAUTIFUL ABSTRACT PAINTINGS THAT REFLECT EACH SCENT AND I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS BUT IT DOESN’T LOOK LIKE YOU CAN ACTUALLY EAT IT.